Break Up and Keep Good “Karma”

No matter how you say it breakup is torture. Whether you are divorcing or just breaking up with a partner, separating is a unique moment in time that can alter the rest of your life or theirs.

Eight suggestions to keep good karma for your next relationship. Yes they are difficult but remember ‘no pressure, no diamonds’:

1. Let the person vent their anger and disappointment at least a few times. You don’t have to let this person endlessly abuse you.

2. Apologize for your part of the demise of the relationship without requiring them to admit their fault. Just be concerned with your own behavior.

3. Give up the chicken and egg debate about who is at fault for the end of the relationship.

4. Ask the injured party how you could make this easier for them, or what you might do to make it better while still holding your ground to separate. This is a little tricky because if you are sure it is over you don’t want to give false hope just to make it easier on yourself.

5. Don’t give false hope just to make it easier on yourself, which will just cause the person to turn into a pretzel trying to accommodate you and cause further humiliation and weakening of their spirit.

6. Don’t text a breakup and if you do it by email, still make yourself available for conversation. Emails do have benefits in helping to organize your thoughts but are usually not a substitute for conversation.

7. If they get hostile tell them the conversation is not going the way you can tolerate and reschedule.

8. Your press release should always be at the least fault neutral. Try to speak to third parties about your former partner in complimentarily ways if possible. My friend Barry says emphatically “I would never date someone who trashed their past relationship.”

When asked what is the gold standard for breakup, that is easy; you become in the breakup the person you want to be with in your next relationship.